Hoopfulbride's Blog

Planning a wedding in a place called The Hope

Am I a fruitcake? 2 July 2009

Filed under: Things I love — hoopfulbride @ 3:21 pm

I love this wedding shit. Seriously.

I seem to have a variation on a certain conversation with at least four people each week. This morning it was a conversation with a random lady at the graphic designers (whose help we have enlisted to make sure our post cards are properly positioned on the page)… although it doesn’t always happen with random ladies:

Random Lady: When are you getting married?

Saartjie: End of September. Tra-la-la (I am generally v. excited when I discuss my nuptials so although I may not actually Tra, there is a distinct sing-song note to my voice)!

RL: OH! You must be SO stressed!

S: Not really, I’m quite enjoying the process.

RL: My wedding was the most stressful time of my life. Don’t get me wrong, it was worth it, but I was SO happy when it was all over.

S: Oh. I really like it. I love to plan a party, you see.

RL: Yes, but weddings are especially stressful.

S: EITHER *changes the subject because she feels like a real wedding nerd* OR *tries (in vain) to convince other person why her wedding is not stressful*

The first time i had this kind of exchange was with one of my very bestest friends who now lives in nyc (who helped me find my frock) and we nearly ended up coming to fisticuffs. He has never been married, but had been nbf to a couple of brides that year. He insisted I was in a bit of a bubble and soon I would realise how stressful the whole process was. I was just bloody excited (Tra-la-la!) and pointed out that perhaps they were stressed because they were from NYC and that CT brides are far less likely to become stressed out. (Which is pretty typical a remark for me to say to him in particular as I am perpetually trying to persuade him to return and he just resolves to love it there even more… sigh)

The point is that I feel like this wedding planning is such a relief from my day-to-day life. I am a lawyer.  And while I have some very interesting cases and I love the way my work stretches my brain, it is so.darn.uncreative. The majority of my friends are inventive and artistic and endlessly creative. I have very few legal friends and those lawyers that are my friends either have amazing non-law outlets or are in a crisis as to how long they want to stay in the profession. I know I want to leave – one day – and I am currently here spending my time learning as much as possible in my present position so as to take everything I can from this law stint.

So my wedding is my outlet. It allows me to be creative in so many ways, not least because this blog allows me to compose something other than court documents. It allows me to be social and to find clever ways of representing myself. It allows me to be hospitable and figure out how best to entertain a crowd of people. These challenges make me really excited.

And I’m lucky: my family and Rooster’s family are, bar the odd argument about guest lists or “jobs”, amazingly supportive. Admittedly this may be because we have both always marched to the beat of our own drum and they have come to understand it is best not to try change that. We also have a fair budget to work with so we can afford those things we find important so we don’t have to fret about those things we wish we had and can focus on the so much that we do have.

But still, I do feel like a bit of an anomaly (a fruitcake bride, if you will)  for not being all worked up: for not yet having a meltdown.

Long may it last…


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